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Do You Suffer from BMHAAW?

by lyn christian on May 4, 2010

Beating My Head Against A Brick WallOne of the things I’ve learned as a coach over the past 12 years is this:

 “We can’t be responsible for something we don’t know. Once we come to fully know and be aware, that’s when we are responsible to take action.”

Let me help you become aware of the simple concept of avoiding BMHAAW so that you might be more aware, responsible and less unrealistic. Part of enjoying life and reaping the benefits of being fully engaged with your life comes by being aware, and able to respond well. 

The unhealthy practice of BMHAAW snares almost every human being. It is the frustrating, sometimes overwhelming practice of feeling like “I’m beating my head against a wall. If health and wellness matter, beating our heads against a wall is not a position one would want to stay in for long. 

Note that BMHAAW is a much different occurrence than having your head beaten against a wall. BMHAAWI is self inflicted. Now how do we know this? Take a moment to observe the nearest, friendly neighborhood wall. Notice that the wall doesn’t have legs, it doesn’t have feet, and it doesn’t have any arms either. The wall cannot walk over to you and hit itself against your head. What has to take place in order for us to feel like we’re hitting our head against a wall is this: we literally have to walk over to the wall on our own volition and start banging our own heads against the stationary object. 

Here are a few examples:

  • A new law states that you must now appear at the DMV in order to renew your driver’s license (a wonderful example of a bureaucratic wall). You have not had any moving or parking violations. You don’t want to go into the DMV to renew. You decide not to go = beating your head against the wall.
  • Property taxes are due (a classic wall). You don’t want to pay them. You decide to avoid paying them = beating your head against a wall.
  • You lose your parking slip while parking at the airport. You know the rules say that lost slips will result in a minimum payment of $25.00 (another wall). You know you lost it and you won’t be able to find it. You try to negotiate with the cranky and un-empowered parking attendant = 9 times out of 10 you are hitting your head against a wall.

One thing I’d like to conclude with is this: Please don’t make a villain out of an innocent wall.

Let’s go back to this thought: “We can’t be responsible for something we don’t know. Once we come to fully know and be aware, that’s when we are responsible to take action.”

Now that you are aware of the BMHAAW, safeguard your head. You’ll save yourself time and sanity.

About the Author:  Lyn Christian is the founder of SoulSalt, Inc., a coaching and coach training company.  She is passionate about the “free-agent” worker who wants to earn their living and live their lives by doing what inspires them.  Get more information by visiting or contact Lyn directly through

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